[CathrynAnne]

Good morning, Baker-

First off, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Your reply was honest and from the heart, and gave me a lot to think about; most of which was the fact that the news should come from either amom or bmom. Just that fact alone made us change our whole strategy, but as far as I'm concerned, it's changed for the better.

And I agree with you 1000% about placing the emphasis on telling the daughter before the amom dies. We already know through amom's message to us yesterday that her own husband's health is very poor, so all the more reason to "get a move on". In fact, we just added that part in to the first paragraph right before I posted it here, so I guess we were on the right path.

I really appreciate your taking the time to read the very loooong letter. I value everyone's advice more than I can express.


Good morning Dickons-

Thank you so very much for your tips on making the phone call. I'd actually told my sister she should be WITH mom when she makes the call, and having the bulleted points right in front of her will just make things that much easier (not that it's going to be easy at all). That way, in case mom just loses her nerve, my sister can step in. Sis has a very loving way of speaking (as opposed to me - lol!), so if anyone could do it, it would be her. I'm kinda liking that at the end of the letter we say that if she just absolutely cannot bring herself to do it, we would "help her". It sounds a bit gentler and less threatening than "If you don't tell her by XXX date, we're going to."

Whoo... kinda exciting and scary all wrapped in one! I'm sort of an "outsider" in the grand scheme of things here, but the emotions I've gone through in the last month are just crazy. I can only imagine (actually, I can't imagine at all) how it is for an adoptee. You're all to be praised!!

These are just fantastic suggestions - please, keep 'em comin!