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I placed a son for adoption 18 years ago in September. I always wanted to have more biological children and adopt children once I got married. 11 years after I placed my son I finally had my life straightened out and I married my DH. We tried for years to get pregnant with no luck. I wanted to move to adoption after 2 years but he had his heart set on a bio child first. We tried for almost 5 more years and I campained for adoption that whole time. Finally he agreed and we adopted our son W in November, 08. I can tell you that I did grieve not giving birth to a baby that I got to keep. I was very angry and disappointed about that for a while. I worked through it and realized I just wanted to be a mother. I will also tell you that the day I walked out of the hospital with W I thought of his birthmom and knew how she felt walking out of the hospital without her son. That brought back a lot of stuff that I had to try to rework through while taking care of a baby that was up every hour either eating or pooping for the first 6 weeks. I would recommend that you work through your emotions about being a birthmother before you agree to adopt. Adoption will resurface a lot of feelings and with the exhaustion that a newborn brings if you haven't worked through it beforehand you could have a very hard time of it. PM me if you want to talk about this further. You are definately not alone!
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