[JustPeachy]

Is it necessary that you be there right after? I imagine with such a serious surgery, your family will be needing support for some time after Saturday. I'm assuming there are other family members helping with all this, and I'm sure your mom would understand if you could not be there Saturday, or only for a very limited time on Saturday, but be on the "sign-up sheet" for Sunday or during the week or upcoming weekends. I know it will be most intense on the day of his surgery and in the next day when you have your visit, but often there are more than enough people around on these "intense" days and then things tend to taper off when help is still needed days or weeks down the road.

I know as much as you are excited about this visit, it will also be emotional, and you will have that on top of the emotional overwhelm of what is going on with grandpa. You are only one person and can only do so much. If you think you could easily reschedule the visit with Cupcake, that could also be an option, but it may not be easy to do at this point.

Regardless of what you decide to do, my stock advice is: Guilt is a useless emotion. You have enough pressure on you with either of these things alone, don't put yourself on a guilt trip--it really serves no purpose and you are not doing anything wrong to feel guilty about.

Now, IIRC, your family does not know about Cupcake, correct? So they may not understand what on earth could be so pressing that you wouldn't be there on Sat. In that case, you may need to make a very good excuse to explain your absence, but again, DON'T GUILT OUT ABOUT IT!!!