[MilehighDad]

Bluebonnet,
There have been several discussions of "full disclosure" on this board, but I think you are the first one who really got a full disclosure! I think that's great and the way it should be done. The downside is that they might scare off more parents early on, but if that scares them off, what would happen when they actually see the behaviors?

I forget which federal law it is in, but what is required is that "the adoptive parents may review the file when the child is placed for adoption." Different states have interpreted "review" differently, and many have taken that statement to mean that you can only review the file while they are placed for adoption, not beforehand when they are foster placements and not after finalization. I think your state has a much more reasonable approach!

We had a sit-down with our daughter and talked through the essentials of her story. She took it fairly well, although there are still some blanks where her memory doesn't seem consistent with what was in the file. I guess that is inevitable. But still, the trip was worth it to be able to talk to her and actually know what happened. I've had to swallow down a lot of anger about how she was treated and how her case was handled by social services.