[benandkatieh]

thanks so much for your reply!

interesting view on the 2nd choice, i wouldn't have thought of it that way... will have to think more about the "can't have a brown baby, buy one" idea... i'd like to believe i am considering adoption for altruistic purposes rather than as any type of "plan b" or attempting to gain something for myself that i cannot have by biological means. will think on this one - thanks for the food for thought!

i am going to try to find some published materials on attachment parenting of adopted children (wish Dr. Sears had one). i had never considered breastfeeding an adopted baby (at least one that was not a brand-newborn at the time of adoption), especially not an older baby - i'm sure that would be crazy confusing (and kinda wierd on mom's part...? someone can disagree with me here), plus the whole thing about how breastmilk comes in and is tailor-made to your child's needs beginning at birth... that wouldn't really happen and would have to be done artificially, and well past much of the health benefit. plus we know bonding happens with bottle feeding and other activities together too... or kids wouldn't become attached to their daddies! anyway.

rearding the crying-it-out method - that's also part of attachment parenting to not do... babies need comfort and use crying as a means of getting needs met, NOT as a means of manipulation. we do not use this method and would not consider it with any future children. it's heartbreaking.

thanks for the information on the terms, i hadn't heard them before... what is "first mother"? my guess is the biological mother?

i'm sure i will think of more questions... and thanks for being here helping us out!
eta: oh, i meant to ask you what you think of co-sleeping (either in same bed or just same room) until child wants to/needs to be in another room. in attachment-parenting, it's about communication with your child, having caregivers close if/when they need them. obviously i'd want to know the sleeping arrangements the child is used to and decide from there, but in general, any thoughts about that?