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I totally agree. As a potential adoptive parent, it has REALLY made me look at my life. Question things I normally do every day. And it hurts when other adoptive parents are behaving this way, it makes ALL of us look bad. I've looked around, and seen so my first parents hurt by the way adoptive parents have been treating them, it can't be any less than those of us adoptive parents who've been hurt/scammed by what we thought were first parents! This has happened to us of course. It's difficult on both sides. First parents should not have people in their faces demanding that they put their child up for adoption OR treating them any differently if they do not. AND Adoptive parents should not be listening to those so-called 'professionals' who are essentially being paid hundreds or thousands of dollars to tell them what the 'perfect' adoptive family is. There IS no perfect adoptive family. My fiancee and I are not even married yet (will be this fall). We've been trying to adopt for about 8 months now. At first, NO ONE wanted to work with us, because they were all convinced that no first parent would EVER choose a couple that wasn't yet married (it wasn't in the perfect adoptive family equation). But we found someone to work with, and we were matched up with a first mom within 3 days!! In the end, it didn't work out, but it was a serious boost to our confidence to know that those other agencies were wrong. There is nothing wrong with us looking for a child to bring into our home just because we don't have a piece of paper that says we're 'Perfect'. JessB, good on you that you followed your instinct on this, chances are you are right. Things would have gone very differently for you if you had not listened to yourself. I'm glad you were able to make the best of a bad situation. You are an inspiration to us all.
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