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I understand exactly what you're saying. My fears come from my own childhood living with a stepfather, having my mother first deny that he was my "step"father and then refuse to give me any information about my Bio-Father. I had to literally 'steal' my own birth ceritificate from her just to get his name.
I just don't want to be like my mother in this situation. I don't want my kids to feel like by having them adopted I tried to erase their Bio-Father. At the same time, I don't want their Bio-Father to disrupt their lives whenever he feels like. He makes empty threats to "take them away" and says that as long as I'm with my fiance he will have nothing to do with the kids, which breaks my heart.
Alot of people try to terminate the other parent's rights out of spite, I don't want to do that. I worry about the unknowns, like if something were to happen to me, my kids would be taken away from the only father they've only known and live with complete strangers. I know the Bio-Father would not allow my fiance around them after that. I just want to protect my children and do what's right for them. I would love for the Bio-Father to be involved but he refuses. I shouldn't have to feel like the bad guy in this.
We are aware of the one year period, just wanted to take our time and make sure we are making the right decision.
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