[joskids]

I was struck by your posts, both of you, as to how blatant it is, when reading your childrens' files, that no one stepped in to help. My thoughts on CW's and why they don't help, is complicated. First off, there is so much turnover in the "system". Facts don't make it into the file when it is transferred from one social worker to another. Circumstances of a child's life are muddled or unclear or maybe the child himself doesn't remember exactly what happened. With one of our foster daughters, she was unclear about some suspected sexual abuse, she was young, didn't remember exactly what happened or wanted to forget it. Things started to come to the surface at our home but, at that point, our daughter seemed to want to forget about it or shrug it off as unimportant. It made me so angry that all we heard from a CW was that "there was some incident that happened a while back but it was unsubstantiated." Why don't they "substantiate" it to the best of their ability? How can a child deal with their history when things keep getting pushed under the rug. It's so much easier for a CW to forget to put things in the file, no one has to dig any deeper and the child can be allowed to "forget." Problem with that is they NEVER FORGET. Triggers happen all the time and we, as adopted or foster parents, don't know why and where they come from?

No one cares how difficult that makes our job as parents or foster parents who care enough to get to the bottom of what makes a child tick or what triggers the anger and denial.

Just very sad. I just had to comment . . . for what it's worth. This is what sickens me about children remaining in care for years before a parent's rights are terminated. I'm tired of asking myself how I can make it better when it seems such an impossible task.