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Your story sounds incredibly similar to mine! I rarely tell people I'm adopted.. for some reason I feel almost ashamed about it (mostly because my adoptive family and I never talk about it which has probably subconsciously made me think it's a shameful thing) and I have not told them I'm going through the search & reunion process. I want their support and I know they'd lend it to me, but I feel that I need to do this by myself.. this doesn't concern them right now. I've had people ask questions or make statements like "So you were in an orphanage?" Not that crass remarks or inconsiderate statements by people are OK, but you have to realize that so many people don't understand the adoption process or understand what adoptees feel. I know how you feel about hearing remarks about adoption from people who don't know you're adopted - like hearing people say "So & so have 2 daughters and an adopted son" (as if the adopted son is less of a son).
I didn't think I had anyone to turn to when it came to my own search & reunion (I haven't reunited yet) but it came to the point that I knew I needed to at least tell someone I was going through the process. Just because you tell someone you're going through the process doesn't mean you have to share with them all of your feelings, emotions or any details about anything, but I can bet that if you at least divulge to someone that you trust that you're adopted and searching for your birth parents, you'll automatically feel better. Just getting that off your chest, without explaining your reasons or answering any questions about it, will give a big sense of relief.
I feel like I just wrote so much and I apologize! Even if it's just through the computer, if you need support or advice from a fellow adoptee who has probably gone through similar situations or can understand the feelings of being an adoptee, feel free to contact me.
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