From all you said in your post, this was of utmost concern to me:
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We've been through a lot, (mostly him coming to terms with his insecurities and jealousy, and learning not to take it out on me, while I've been adjusting myself so that he has to deal with those feelings less, meaning giving up friends, a social life, etc)
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I just saw a huge red flag here, because the behaviours you describe are typical of someone who abuses or has the potential for abuse. If he is jealous and "taking it out on you," (how??? hitting??? yelling???? fighting?? emotional abuse???) that is not healthy. If you are having to break off friendships due to his insecurities, that is not healthy for you, as it is a pattern of isolating you from those you turn to for support. Now you find yourself undecided about what to do and feeling as though you might be able to parent, while he is wanting adoption.
If YOU want to parent, do NOT make the decision to place because that's what your BF wants. It has to be what you want--truly what you want. Just think if you placed this baby to placate your bf and then a few months or even years down the road, the relationship does not work out (and sorry to be a downer, but given that a large percentage of relationships don't work out, it is a real possibility). Now you would have signed away your rights to your baby and you will also not have this relationship, either. That could lead to a lot of anger and resentment for you.
On the other hand, if you feel placing your baby would be best for him or her (regardless of what BF wants), and have explored your options, and determined that you are just not in a good place right now to raise your child, then you could go that route. Understand that in most states, Open Adoption is not legally binding, so whatever agreements have been made can be broken.
Please take your time and explore every avenue. Wait until after you have your baby and re-examine your decision. Even if you decide on adoption, you have every right to change your mind after your baby is born. If you can, take your baby home (assuming that is a safe place for you and your baby to be) and spend some time making your decision.
In my case, I was well set on adoption from early in my pregnancy. After having him, I was completely unprepared for the strong feelings and bonding I would feel. Leaving the hospital was excruciatingly hard. I did take some time, though, after I got home, to really think about my decision. I still chose adoption and believe it was the right choice under my particular circumstances. I got a lot of counseling and had a semi-open where I got updates and pictures. The first year was very hard for me, but I did move forward and was pretty much OK with my choice. I have found it more difficult in midlife now that my son is grown, but I think a lot of the midlife issues and changing hormones are magnifying a lot of the adoption stuff.
It's not an easy decision either way, but the best is to be as well-informed as you can be, get counseling, don't rush into anything, and make sure this decision is YOURS and not anyone else's.