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Oh wow. I can imagine the turmoil that this has caused at your age. But, at least it sounds like a lot of groundwork has been done for you which is great. Tumultuous for certain but still great.
In the long term, you can go to the state where you were probably adopted and ask for non identifying information regarding your adoption. If they have any then it is sure that you were adopted. Register with the ISSR and other match sites to see if they give you hits as well. It takes time but get your ducks in a row.
One quick word of advice. Keep some information held back for verification purposes. Even though you have a good idea of who your birth mother is, there are those who take advantage of our situation.
If it were me, I'd ask your mom even though she is sick. Adoptive parents hide the adoption for fear that they will lose their child. They don't realize that when the truth is known that everything that they've ever said or done will come under scrutiny. Hiding that a person is adopted is just plain wrong.
Best wishes and let us know how it is going.
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