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<sigh> I didn't go into detail or even pretended to have advice for the specific bio/adopted children question that the OP had. I don't even pretend to give advice for teenagers/children etc....unless it has to do with speech and language.
That being said, if she hasn't gone into the training classes, these phrases of "not saving a child" are said night in and night out! My point in saying that was for her to know how some sw's through the county/state/agency may feel about it and yes it's part of the homestudy discussion in your home...at least it was in mine.
Adopting an older child IS tough because of past issues. Many of my students are in FC or have been adopted as older children (10 y/o+) and I know it's not always a picnic...from that aspect school wise/IEP/Mental Health wise, sometimes you do have to question motives for adopting....that's all.
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Speech therapist to 39 children 
6/1/09, homestudy officially approved
6/3/09, Selected!  ....decided not to move fwd. after disclosure meeting 
9/29/09, Selected! 
10/6, appears relatives applied for ICPC 
current status: Selected for 6 month old girl  (ummm apparently my cw can't add...she's 4 1/2 months old  )
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