[RavenSong]

You've gotten some very valuable and wise advice from all of the previous posters...I hope you take it to heart, and I hope and pray that you rethink your choice of adoptive parents for your baby. This entire thread is so amazing to me because it is so rare to see a thread where every single person from all three sides of the triad are in complete agreement. Every single person on this thread is warning you about all the red flags that are being raised in your situation.

I am so relieved that you have decided to see and hold your baby. When I delivered my son in 1972, my doctor and the nurses wouldn't even tell me what gender my baby was, much less let me see him. I was supposed to have a natural birth, and the doctor knew I wanted to watch my baby being born. I knew something was wrong when they wheeled me into the delivery room and turned the overhead mirror over so I couldn't see anything. As my son was crowning, the nurses tied my hands down and a gas mask was placed over my face...I was knocked out. The doctor later explained to my mother that he didn't want me to hear my son's first cries.

When my son was a young teenager, his parents contacted me through the adoption agency and began sending photos and short updates. When he was around 16, he asked them to find out if I had ever held him or seen him. I am told that he was absolutely devastated when he found out that I hadn't held him. He was able to talk about those feelings with me when we reunited a few years later. But to this day, he still feels really sad and cheated that we didn't have any time together when he was born. (When he was younger, he wanted to sue the doctor who delivered him!)

As some members have told you, I think it's super important to say hello to your baby before saying goodbye. It's important for the both of you...

Please really think over your choice of parents for your child. Nothing is written in stone as of yet. And you are perfectly within your rights to choose another family for your child. Is it really in your baby's best interest to be placed with this particular family...this is the question you need to ask yourself.