[Steph-Jason]

Wow S00nerfan- I can not believe this situation. As an amom I'm appalled that this woman is placing these type of stipulations on you. It's not up to her who holds your baby first. NO ONE should be tellling you otherwise.The others are right- you deserve that time with your baby. It is a bonding time for the two of you & you should be having that. It's best for you & the baby. DD's bmom definately held her when she was first born - she was the first person to hold her. We got to the hospital the day after she was born & gave her all the time she needed to be with DD. If this is what you want then that's what should be happening. If this woman is treating you this way now then imagine how she's going to treat you for the rest of your life. Are you doing an open adotion or semi open? If so I'd be very concerened that she'd keep her side of the agreement & send updates / pictures / arrange visits as she's supposed to. I really question if this woman has the baby's best interest in mind. If she's this possessive now how is she going to act when your child is older & wants to talk about the adoption experience? I'm so sorry you're going through this- I can not imagine how awful this must feel for you now. You ARE NOT selfish in one bit- she is to act this way. Please, Please, Please- listen to the bmoms on this site- from what I've seen they are extremely smart ladies who are very caring & ready to help. This just doesn't seem like a good situation. I'll keep you in my prayers