[BrandyHagz]

I've been a first mom in open adoption for some time now and you'd think, having been around it for a while, that I'd be all ready to handle my most recent 'issue'.

But I'm not.

To add some background - shortly after M was born, I buried myself in my work - I worked ALL THE TIME and when I wasn't working - I was at home hanging out with my son (or going to school).

Bottom line - I avoided interaction with others in an attempt to avoid talking about the obvious pregnancy that resulted in me not coming home with a baby. (I didn't share my adoption plan with anyone really).

Three years later, I met and married my husband and moved away. Far away. I get back from time to time, but my home town is 'rural' and I pretty much avoid going into 'town'.

Anyway - I got into Facebook about a year ago and started connecting to a few people back home...no big deal really, I got caught up in the excitement of talking to people I hadn't talked to in 13+ years and I was having fun.

Until the other day.

I got a friend request from someone I had been fairly close to in school - I accepted/approved and looked forward to talking to her.

Then it dawned on me, while I was out at the store, she'd married one of 'his' best friends. OH. MY. GOD.

So, I sat back and waited.

Yesterday, she messaged me and was all "WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO!?!" and so I replied - I was doing well, living in AZ etc etc.

Then she replied - "So, how many kids do you have now?"

I have not replied yet - because I don't know how to reply!

Arg.

I should add:

1. She posted openly on my Facebook page.
2. My (placed) daughter is one of my Facebook friends.
3. I know she knows, she and her husband were one of two couples in the hotel room the night "he" got drunk and sloppy and told everyone he had a daughter with me and she'd been placed for adoption.

I am worried about:

1. I have to reply openly on my Facebook page to her question and then everyone who knows me, but doesn't know me well enough to know my story, will now wonder where I got this extra kid all the sudden.

2. If I don't say "2" then M (my placed daughter) could get hurt by my response.

3. @*$&@()@)%)%&@#*@(@)$)@)!*@&$(@#)! I am danged if I do and danged if I don’t!

I really don't know why I am so freaked out. My blog is linked from FB and I clearly 'out' there - but it just feels different being asked a direct question.

So - oh people of wisdom - tell me what I need to do. I am more worried about hurting M's feelings with my answer than I am making a total moron of myself. I can deal with whatever anyone throws my way - but I don't want to hurt her (and I admit, I am freaked out about becoming the gossip center of attention back home...where I haven't lived in over a decade, but is still the home of my (well known and respected) family.