First of all, welcome to the forums. Secondly, please don't think you must come to a final decision now or prior to the baby's birth. I would look into getting some counseling now, exploring all your options, and waiting until after the baby is born to make a final decision. There is no rush or timetable where you must make your decision, but it would help to have all your options sorted through and see what kind of support you may have if you choose to keep your baby, and what is available if you decide to place.
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What are some things any of you have used to help make this incrediably hard decision.
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You know, my situation was totally different, as I was still a teenager and living at home. I pretty much had my mind made up on adoption from early in my pregnancy. I got lots of counseling during my pregnancy, and after. I was very surprised, my son being my first child, at how much I bonded with him after he was born. It was insanely difficult to leave the hospital without him. I did not sign any final papers, though, until about 6 weeks after I had him. He was in foster care during that time, so I had that time to revisit my decision and think a lot more about my circumstances and if I was making the right decision. It was still hard, but I felt it was best to place my son. I did not feel pressured by my agency or anyone for that matter, and I strongly believe that this was important to my healing in the sense that I could "own" my decision, it was not made for me, and I came to it after weighing all the pros and cons. I think it also helps to look at things logically, which isn't the easiest since it's such an emotional thing, but if you can, it is helpful.
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The only reason for placing is if you truly don't WANT to be a parent to the child. Anything else, and you'll regret it.
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I don't feel there are any "only reasons" for placing a child. It really is up to the individual what their situation is and what they feel they can handle and what they want for their child. I wanted to parent my child, but couldn't give him what I felt he needed. And I did not regret my decision. I also don't think it's really fair to say to someone else what they will or will not regret, as we simply can't know that.
Mizz-Momma, I know you're in a tough spot right now, and emotions are running high. Try to slow things down a bit, and really look into what is available in terms of support if you choose to parent your child. You could also contact a few agencies just to get a feel for what your options are if you place. Just remember, you are under NO obligation to relinquish your child and don't let anyone pressure you to do so.