I am posting this hoping that someone out there has been through something like this and may have some words of wisdom. A little about me:
33, single and pregnant (12 weeks). The father has no interest in me or the child and doesn't call, visit or seem to care if we are ok. He has 2 other children already and cannot hold a job (this I unfortunately learned too late).
My parents are not supportive and have made it clear that I screwed up and even my mother (a catholic!) told me I would be doing the baby a favor by having an abortion. They are not well themselves, my mother abandoned me at 16 and my father is a chronic alcoholic who hasn't worked in 22 years. I lost my job 3 months ago when the attorney I have worked for since I was 23 passed away. I have been actively looking for a new job.
I am so frustrated with myself every day for getting into this position. I have always been so careful with birth control, this literally was a one time thing.
I visited a crisis pregnancy center and although I know they mean well, I do not think that the women there are qualified to be counseling a woman in a crisis situation. They gave me an ultrasound (I am thankful for that - especially since it was free!) but other than that, just a bottle of pre-natal vitamins, a book and a huge packet full of government #'s, Medicaid info. etc. No other assistance. One even suggested I sleep on a church pew if I cannot continue to afford to keep my apartment.
I've been to Medicaid, and waited at the office, filled out all of the paperword etc. 2 months ago and still have no coverage. I was told today that I was supposed to have something notarized - I had no idea - so I am going back tomorrow to see if I can rectify things. As of today, I have not been able to receive any pre-natal care. Despite popular opinion, I have not been able to find ONE single OBGYN in my area that will accept you with pending Medicaid. The best one would do for me is see me if I pay out of pocket $365 which I cannot afford! I haven't found any clinics that will see me with no income or insurance. I don't know where all these supposive resources are, all one has to do is call around to a few docs and explain you have no resources and see how far you get.
It's incredibly humiliating and sad.
This stress has all been too much for me and I am off my depression meds while being pregnant which I know is making things worse (I have a long history of severe depression with hospitalizations.) I am terrified it's just going to get worse. I fear that I cannot care for this child properly and just wish I could see a way ahead.
Thinking it would be better for the child, I did meet with a woman from an adoption agency and she said that in the dire straits I am in now (I am unemployed, don't have a place to live after May 1) that she can't help me. It could take months to get the ball rolling on the adoption and in the meantime I have no help. It's against the law for the agency to help me financially in any way. I cannot apply for TANF (temporary aid for needy families) through the government until I am 6 months pregnant.
If one more person tells me to start calling churches and asking for help (I have done this to no avail) or that there has to be help, I am going to scream! I have had churches literally laugh when I called. Some were willing to help with diapers and formula, but they can't offer me any help now. I feel like I have looked and looked for help and there is none to be found. Are there better adoption agencies? Is there anyone that cares about how/where the birthmom lives before the baby is born? I am so sorry to ramble on and on, I am just so at my wits end.
Thank you for reading.