I agree, it does sounds intense!! That was an awful lot to cram into a few days.
It sounds like you handled things beautifully, even though his mom might still be struggling with some things (based on the environment comment made to you). It sounds like you have your eyes wide open, as does everyone else, and a whole bunch of ice has been broken!
Interesting about your mom... You're not the first one whose mother I've heard had to face their own demons when reunion, or non-reunion, comes around. It's funny how adoption can be like a mirror and when you face it, you see what's really there whether you like it or not.
You know, it struck me when you were talking about the photos...all the little ways that I might *think* I'm being gracious or hospitable and yet actually be insensitive. On our first day with M, I pulled out J's albums and school yearbooks so she could look through them while she was here and I'm ashamed to say it never once occurred to me how difficult and emotional that might be for her-- not something to be done with a crowd of spectators. If I had a rewind button...
Thank you for sharing! You must be EXHAUSTED.