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The more prepared you are the better you will be able to anticipate some behaviors and handle them. Our fs (9yrs) came with a diagnosis of ADHD/ODD. He had been thru 2 previous disruptions and had history of violence and anger. We were told that he had regular eating and sleeping habits, but this was not true after placement. He had alot of food issues and several nightmares each evening. He was very insecure and tried to control the environment thru his anger and outbursts about nothing special, (as far as we could see.)We read alot about attachment techniques and parenting kids that had been in the foster care system. We learned what we might expect and ways to handle it. Ask for all Psych and Educational evaluations, IEP's from all previous schools. Speak to prior teachers and foster parents (you'll find some of their contact info on the IEP's). We visited my son's school and observed him during the day. His teachers spent two hours with us one afternoon and answered all the questions we could think of. Once we had all the info and had done alot of reading and research we sat down and discussed whether or not we could commit to loving and support this child, on his worst day.....I say that to say this...You have to commit to the work of it..creating and maintaining predictability, structure and consistency, getting up in the middle of the night 3-4 times, and all in all investing every minute of every day in that child. Our fs has been here since July and prayerfully will be adopted soon. He has made tremendous progress in school and at home. He still has bouts of anger from time to time but they are very short spurts and there seems to be longer intervals of calm. As he says, "The madness is gone." It has taken commitment and alot of hard work, he has come so far and we will do all we can to continue healing his scars... So can all these kids be saved...I don't know...but I do know that they all deserve a shot at a great life...
Be encouraged and stay strong.
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