[joskids]

Wow, Kimber, I really feel for you. This "first" mother seems totally inappropriate (which is likely why the child isn't with her today). If this relationship is unhealthy for your family and for your child, I would do everything possible to sever it. Pictures and letters only sound to be more appropriate in this situation. We allowed an open adoption with our baby and had the biofather come back and try to get custody, which cost us dearly both emotionally and financially. You just cannot be too careful. If sounds like you have considered her feelings over and above what is good for your own family. I really respect you for that. Now it's time for a change.