[Janeytwo]

Dear "Seeking"

I flipped an internal coin before answering this post because I wasn't sure well...quite frankly.....I wasn't sure how to take it at first.

However, you seem sincere in that you are genuinely trying to understand.

Anyway......to answer:

It is painful to relinquish a child because doing so means great loss. IMO - Relinquishment is a loss of self in many ways. Our children are an extension of us; not in that we own them but that our hopes and dreams are manifested through their existence - at least that is how I see this. Simply put the relinquishment of a child is the death of dreams and dreams, as I'm fond of saying, die very hard.

As to the first item on your list, Seeking. Some have compared relinquishment to a child's dying. I respect the grief behind such statements, though I can't say I agree. I think I may have posted this previously and if I have I apologize.

But I would rather be me - a double surrenderer - than John and Revee Walsh. I wish they didn't have to be John and Revee Walsh either - if that makes sense. I cannot imagine a greater nightmare than the murder of a child. I personally don't know how anyone comes back from something like that. Or the death of a child from illness; another nightmare.

I hope that answers some of your questions for you.

Regards,