Hi Kalee,
I am very sorry to hear of your experience.
Is the birth father supportive? If so, ask him to marry you.
My suggestion to you would be to go away for a while to live with a relative for at least a few weeks where you can calmly think things through.
Don't decide under pressure.
Since you have named the child, in my heart, I feel you will keep Jonah.
-
Anil
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Originally Posted by Kalee27
Hey everyone. Thank you for all the replies. Some good advice I see. I think overall the reason it appears that I wanna make a decision fast is because the longer I keep him, the harder it would be to relinquish him. I guess my life is totally upside down right now and I am asking myself if Ihave what it takes to raise him alone. I know I do but it seems totally overwhelming to me. I have the support of my family to go either way. Some are encouraging me to adopt, some are not. As it sets, the only ppl Ihave are my mom and dad.....rest of siblings are states away. Mom works full time still and dad is older and ill and cannot help alot. I went from working and taking care of myself-----being on my own for years to all of a sudden a screeching halt. I am landlocked out in this little town and I think that alone scares me because I can't imagine living here nor could I imagine raising a child here.....its far too rural. I am 27 and want to get myself back in school. Unfortunately, I have some debts that I can't ignore so working is a MUST. My employer who seemed willing to work with me all of the sudden started badgering me to get back to work after only missing 4 days! I asked her to be patient giving situation but she wasn't.....I ended up quitting. As of today Ihave been unemployed for 2 weeks. What I didnt explain to you all is that through the adoption, the parents were gonna assist me in some of my bills. This has not happened and now my current landlord is owed quite a chunk of change. Iknow that it all seems temporary but Ihave had some difficulty in establishing stability and during pregnancy I finally starting gaining some ground and now I am losing it all again. I know it sounds silly but u have to understand that my independence is so important and now I will HAVE to be dependent on others and I don't like that.
Overall, my emotions are all over. One minute crying, next minute very clear on what to do. I love Jonah but when I look at him I feel like I just dont have it in me to parent at this time. It's just so messed up. I am so irritable due to this weird schedule of being up all day and night--to make matters a tad worse, my mother is super critical of every move I make...........that alone drives me insane. I try and be respectful since she did raise 5 kids but she is very overbearing and at times a little cruel.....this I cannot deal with if I keep him and stay here. She is the type that if you do not do things HER WAY.....you are WRONG. And we have been in constant arguments since Ihave been home because she wont lighten up a little.
Anyways, I am open to all views and experiences. I just want to make a decision and get on with things. It;s simply taxing and I can;t continue to sit and wonder. I am gonna make some calls to an adoption agency today. I am not saying I am doing it for sure but I would like to start looking at couples. I feel if I am doing that atleast I am doing something while I figure out what I am gonna do in the longrun.
PS: Is it normal to be irritable and at times frustrated with baby when he is only 10 days old due to the fussing and stuff??
Kalee
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