[MilehighDad]

Originally Posted by juli714

With that being said, I think the professionals should make the determinations of RAD and that every child's situation should be taken on a case-by-case basis.

Bless the children who need a home and provide them with a future!

God Bless you all!

Juli,
I actually agree with you but think there are some things to be cautious about here.

I think we would all like to believe that the people who make a career out of working with traumatized kids actually know what they're talking about. Certainly, most of us, having come from relatively healthy families, start out trusting the professionals and learning from them. Unfortunately, what is also true of the professionals is that they don't live with it, day in and day out, and much of what they have to say was taught to them by someone else or perceived through someone else's eyes. Unfortunately in our experience, the result is that about half of the professionals of any particular flavor, SW, therapist, or psychiatrist, actually get it and can be helpful. The other half are clueless and harmful to our kids and our families. The challenging part is being able to tell the good ones from the bad ones. How do I know this? Well - 3 psychiatrists gave our daughter 3 completely different diagnosis in a two year period, including potent medications to address those diagnosis. (She didn't live with us then.) They couldn't all be right, and in fact it was easy to see that some of the medications caused significant behavior and learning issues. For example, she was sleeping 2-3 hours per day in a public school classroom.
So, while I respect your opinion and we all need help, I suggest looking at all professional opionions with a healthy dose of skepticism. When you live with a child you will know them better than anyone, and the professional is really just helping you understand what you're seeing. If the last caregiver of your child was biased or inattentive, then even the best professionals will have an inaccurate view of them coming into your home. The SW in particular will only know what is told to them, and it is much more common to report all the trouble you're having than to report the things that are going well.
Also, your points are good in that often many posts assume far more than they should from almost no information. I would like to see everyone try to be supportive without drawing too many conclusions because usually not enough is shared to support those conclusions.