Kaylee, again congradulations, you are being a very wise person..new mommy! Thank your parents for aiding you with this emotional time. I am a firstmom, and I too felt all you have felt, and my goodness, you have every right to feel this way. Your hormones will surge for about 6 more months, for they have been building you up to prepare your body for birth...for oh about 9 months now. I think you have made the best choice of taking your baby home. I feel, all new mommies should do this, especially if they feel in their hearts they cannot parent. Now, I like Janey think you should slow down and try to enjoy your little one, and put JOBS, MONEY, AND NEW APARTMENT LEASES ON HOLD. Sorry for caps, too lazy to go back and retype
Kaylee, I will not be able to fill you with an idea, that aoption is right or NOT right for you, sadly you will be the only person to make that decision. However I can give you some insight to what takes place. I relinquished 23 yrs ago, twin sons! I have had an abortion, miscarried 3x, and chose to get 'fixed', feeling that I no longer deserved to be gifted with another child. THE hardest act,I have ever encountered was losing my sons! It is the one thing that no one can get over...ever...for once you become a mother...you are a mother forever. It cannot be anyother way. The exception to this rule, is when we relinquish, all those people involved try to tell you you are no longer a mother...because you gave up that right...NOT SO! This is MYTH! You are offered( I was not), an open adoption....even promised this...but there are no legal ramifications to the closing of these "open" adoptions..it is done at will by the new parents. Some do not, and some are very lucky, but those a few and far in between. Second thing is , again in my opinion, had I been made aware that new parents, are great on paper, and are given a good "homestudy" bill of health...no one knows what goes on behind closed doors...no-one! These new parents, have issues with bills, lose jobs,alcoholism, self medicate, abuse, have affairs, lose their homes, pediphilia, and jobs, just like the rest of the population. So think long and hard, you have plenty of time. There is no amount of time or a rule book that says, you have x amount of days/weeks/years, to make this choice. Lastly, sweetheart, you are making decisions not only about your current place in the world. You arechoosing a world, that your darling little monkey, will have to live each day with. If current circumstances are difficult, it will not always be this way, but once you sign those papers, your world will indeed change forever. IMHO, the only time one needs to relinquish, is if they can honestly tell them selves they may bring harm to that child, they cannot protect that child, they are incapable of providing love, and nurture, or they just cannot stand to be a parent...if you can say that each of these cases fit your life, then do find a loving person(s) to raise your child. Just be positively SURE they are good persons! This is not an object to own for a while then give away...as I am sure you are very well aware of. Being scared, no money and no job, is not reason enough to place your baby...it is not! All that little monkey wants...is his mommy that he has been in love with for 9 months and 10 days...a lot of love, some food, and protection from the big wide world...sounds to me like this is what yoiu are doing as we speak. It is a life altering decision, sadly you will have to make that decision...for both! Many Blessings, kiss that new one, tell him...he has lots of people whom are thinking of him tonight
Serenity, Blessings, and in time you will know what you must do...C.J.
