[kellyd]

This question is important to me as I have reached our 18 year milestone. We had an all too often open to closed adoption, so I know all of the family's information. I feel I would reach out to give my daughter the option to know me by facebook etc, but she has all of her privacy blockers making her invisible. I don't know what she knows about me, but she has to know about the adoption, as she has a brother the same age (they were pregnant at signing- I didn't know). Social worker has said for the bmom never to seek, that it's the adoptee's choice. She has proven herself untrustworthy over the years. I feel that as I was the rejector (you know what I mean), and my daughter, having a strong two parent family, has no current hole in her world to fill, why would someone choose to risk rejection a second time for someone who's spot has been filled in her life. I wonder, if facebook and myspace is the technological age's version of bumping in to eachother on the street, wouldn't it be more gentle to message with a "just wanted you to know where to find me, when ever you're ready, I'm here"? That would remove the risk of rejection, and allow her to truly choose. Do you need to go through social workers and aparents when the child is 18? Do you wait until after graduation, summer, college, marraige, parenthood? I am registered everywhere, I opened social networking pages- I can be found- she just has to look. I would love to hear from birthparents and adoptees on these issues. Thanks