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Originally Posted by Janeytwo
Still, I cannot fathom how a person who makes a conscious and considered decision to relinquish can be compared with someone who starves or beats their child. I have tried to come to terms with this problem, meditated on it, spoken with other women here from all points on the line, but I cannot find a way to understand. Because, for me, there isn't a way and so I cannot make peace with it. I suppose that is where it will have to lie.
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Do not EVER come to terms with this Janey. Do not ever make peace with it or let it lie. Just like the ones that continually told you and other firstmoms over the decades that your child would never need to know about you, they told their parents other lies. We have to keep educating and fighting this stereotype and your voice is important in that. I'm horrified when I hear people say things to compare my kids' other mom to true firstmoms. Yet, I too was guilty of some of these thoughts when I first came here. Sounds so lame to say "I didn't know any better", but that's the truth. I had this idea of "even if they didn't abuse their kids, they must not have really wanted them."
I met Brandy, Michelle, Paige, Anne, Jenna, and so many more over the years that showed me differently. Now I know you, Kathy, Belle, and others too. (I know I'm forgetting so many names) If it weren't for all of you sharing and yes, fighting to be heard too, I would be one that never learned to appreciate all the differences. So no...don't you dare let it lie.
