Janey,
This piece, like so many you write, leaves me speechless, teary-eyed and awestruck. You write:
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Janeytwo
But here, as I sit at my desk, typing my thoughts out to other souls in cyberland? I can say with deep sorrow that I'm unsure if anything I've experienced in this year is important. Because the one thing I haven't learned is what my children's names are now. What became of them. Whom they've loved. Whom they've lost. Where the road has taken them.
Perhaps it is that I will never know and that is another truth I must accept.
|
I can only say one thing…while you haven’t found the answers you’ve searched for, your time in cyberland has been incredibly important. You’ve brought amazing insight to me and others. The courageous words you tap out on your keyboard are very important. They open eyes. They change viewpoints. They bring understanding and compassion.
I decided a long time ago that some people like to hold their prejudices tight. “They” seem to cling to the idea and the labels attached to them, that those of us who relinquished are tramps, whores, druggies, alcoholics, scammers, liars and trash. Why do “they” want to believe this? I ask myself this a lot. All I can come up with is that we did the unimaginable. We “gave up” our children. We broke the motherhood code. We must be substandard and broken. Those people aren’t worth my effort.
Instead, I try – as you know many times unsuccessfully as I can’t resist the fray - to focus my attention to those that have something real and tangible to teach me; people like you and like the wonderful adult adoptees and adoptive parents that are here, among the others.
I too, haven’t achieved what I originally thought I came here for. I’m still left wondering and worrying. But, I’ve gained great insight and knowledge and in many ways I’m glad that I didn’t suddenly “find” him those first couple of years I was searching. I’m better prepared today.
He turned 26 yesterday; perhaps this is the year I find out the paths his life has taken.