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I would terminate this agreement as quickly as possible. This bmom appears to be a danger to you, your child and your family. If your child is in day care be sure to let them know what is going on. There was a case in my town where a bmom applied for a job at the daycare where her placed son attended. Talk about scary.
Record everything that happens and that is said, and get a restraining order as soon as the next event happens.
You and your family should not have to live with threats. I would put my concerns in writing to the adoption agency and let them know you will terminiate the agreement if there is one more incidnet.
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Debbie
Foster Parent- Biomom - Adoptive Mom
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