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Julie23: I'm sorry if anything i said in my post upset you in any way, and im sorry about your situation. i think taking time for yourself and allowing yourself that grieving period is a good idea. I dont know what its like to be in your situation, but i think there's one universal thing in adoption, whether it be an adoptee, birth parent or adoptive parent, and that is that as much a people want to be supportive and try to help, they dont understans unless they've walked in your shoes. only you know what you're going through, and maybe taking some time for yourself on your daughters birthday will be a good thing.
i dont know about your daughter, her feelings or situation.. but from personal experience, sometimes its easier to act like we dont care and that certain circumstances dont mean a thing to us.. it might be because of how others feel, or how we're expected to feel.. but sometimes its the things we dont WANT to care about are the things that we think about at night, when we cant sleep and no one else is awake.. i'm sure you know what thats like. i cant speak for your daughter, but no matter what is going on, i can almost certainly say that you're in her thoughts.
maybe, if you wanted, send her a card for her birthday. a simple 'happy birthday' card, with nothing else written, can say 'im thinking of you today' quite loudly.
take care
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