[MilehighDad]

Crissy,
Your last post doesn't change how I see it. You don't have a big decision coming up, the decision was months ago. The only way that you should consider not finalizing is if you just can't parent him anymore. If you are so beat down and frustrated by his behavior that you just can't take it anymore. But, even then, before giving up you should exhaust every option you have, including therapy for him and for you.

I don't think you're cheating him or cheating you if you don't feel bonded, that just happens sometimes. It falls in the category of: raising kids like this is emotionally hard. You want to feel happy and loving and sometimes you just don't. But, you are still his parents and what he deserves is your best and to never know you have personal misgivings inside.

My advice is to not even consider quitting. Like many things in life, as soon as think it is ok to fail, you're pretty much doomed. I also think these issues are about how you and your husband feel, so what have you done to address your feelings? Have you found a therapist to talk about how you are addressing it? Yes, I know you're online, but have you found support groups in your area to talk to others 1-on-1? I would suggest being careful talking to your social worker about this, though, because an over-zealous worker might just take things into their own hands and decide you're done.

I guess I just have one question: when you are thinking this is a decision you need to make, has it ever occurred to you that if you don't finalize, you'll never see your son again, not even a picture? Are you prepared to spend the rest of your life wondering how his life turned out?

I think you're more attached than you know, you're just having a hard time recognizing it.