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The above information may not be accurate for your situation. Interstate relative placement may or may not require licensing up front. You certainly don't want to wait 120 days to let somebody know you are available for placement.
No, the FIRST thing you need to do is contact the local agency in the other state that has the child and let them know, ASAP, that you would like placement of the child with you as soon as possible.
When any placement is out of state, the state having the child must initiate an ICPC. The ICPC is like a contract between the states agreeing to certain conditions and terms when state A is placing a child in state B. One of the things state A requests is that state B confirm that the placement is safe and appropriate. State B has the right to be sure that the placement meets its standards. State A can insist that the placement also meet its standards or it can be satisfied by State B's standards.
Again, then, you need to talk to the caseworker in the county or district that has custody of the child ASAP. Tell him/her you want placement. If you say you do not want placement until after TPR or after it looks as if the child won't return to the parents, that may be too late. They may not place the child with you until then, but they may. But if you seem to want to push out, and they let you, then later they may well say, correctly, that the child has attached to their foster family and should not be moved.
In any case, ICPCs can take a long time--one of ours was 6 months!--to go through but are good for a year once they do. So I would advise trying to persuade the cw to start one in case placement with you could happen anytime in the next 15 months. Much sooner is better for the child, really, unless there is a good chance for reunification with his/her parents.
Be cautious about accepting legal custody or guardianship with no termination of parental rights--that is the state's way of dumping an open custody case on you and walking away from its protective duty to the child. They will lure you into that by playing on people's fear of the foster system. The foster system, when a placement is stable, is great for kids and provides a lot more than most of us could on our own. You don't need to be afraid of it, it is there to help. The children deserve that support, I think, and shouldn't get shortchanged just because they are related to their fostering family. Anyway, always consult with your own lawyer before signing anything. The agency lawyer is not employed to help you.
SECOND step, contact your own local social services agency aSAP. Ask to get a homestudy in process as soon as possible because you want to get licensed. They won't schedule it for a relative ICPC placement until they receive the ICPC paperwork, which can take some time. They will schedule it if you are going for a license. The more you can get done before that ICPC paperwork hits your local office, the better.
It's best to work on getting licensed even if you don't "have" to because you need to (1) develop a network of knowledgable people who want you to succeed, (2)learn how the system works, and (3) learn about the special needs of foster parenting and foster children--it is not the same as intact family parenting.
Through the whole process, always remember that nothing is done until it is done. Nothing is final until it is final. You can and should take everything one step at a time. CWs, supervisors, lawyers, etc., may be nice, but not a single one of them is paid to help you. You need to get your own independent legal advice, especially before signing anything.
THIRD, From now until placement, call the custodial agency cw every week, pick a consistent day, to find out how the child is doing. Try to engage the cw in talking about the child's issues and needs. Do not discuss the parents or their case unless asked direct questions. Do not offer opinions on the parents or their case. Do not depend on or take the parents' word for what is happening in their case--they often don't really know, anyway--and try not to discuss it with them, either. Stay focused on the child, the child's needs, your relationshop to the child, your preparation for the child.
Try to arrange visits, phone calls. Ask to send letters and packages. She may require they go through her office first. Don't be offended by that. Ask if you can contact the foster family, try to develop a good relationship with them if you are able to. Show constant, persistent interest and care, appropriate behavior, and do everything you can to develop your relationship with the child if you are allowed to.
Family placement can be a very rough road, but also worth it in so many ways. You may have to say goodbye to some of the adults in your family who may see protecting and caring for the child as a betrayal of your family members. You most likely will not be able to convince some of them or the parents of your good intent, so don't even worry about trying--it is just more stress that neither you, your immediate family, nor the child needs. Most of us have been called to put the child above the adults at one time or another, so just be prepared for that.
Good luck and blessings on your journey.
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