I'm a birthmother and I'm adopted. I found out I was adopted (the same way your daughter was) when I was 17 out of the anger of my mom (they divorced and she has had past with drug history etc)
So long story short, I got pregnant that year with my boyfriend. My dad didn't even give me a chance to try to work it out with my boyfriend. My boyfriend wanted to smoke pot and play in the band with his friends, but he did listen and understand my point of view.
I left NC and went to UT and stayed with a foster family while finishing high school, etc.
Well fast forward two years (so presently 2009) I'm currently 19 and married. I have a son who is 9months and I placed my daughter that I was pregnant with to the foster family. She just turned 2.
My ex calls and sees how she's doing, he doesn't have a big open relationship wth the adoptive couple like I do.
As far as I go, I tried to get into contact with my birthfather last year. I found out he's really messed up. He's a drug addict who offered to sell my husband herion (my husband goes to a support group and has been clean for 4 years) and so I told him until he can find a better way to bond with me, not to contact me at all.
I know it hurt his feelings. He eventually smoked up and got high enough to land himself in jail for a while, he isn't taking his bi-polar meds so he's just not all the way here right now.
I know it must be hard for him to be rejected by his daughter, but he has to see my side too.
Your story made me think what it would be like for my daughter's father...thoughts that go through his head, and I worry if she is going to be recptive into hearing about the future...if when she's old enough she wants contact with her birthfather and he's a good person, I think it would be good.
I hope this helps in for you to be aware that we may have different lifestyles, but theyr'e similar....and that you're not alone
