OH WOW! I placed my baby girl for adption in April 2007 (I had her on easter) to the foster parents I was living with. So I have come to grow and be apart of their family before I decided to place with them. So my adoption is far more open than alot of other girls' I know. I see my daughter all the time, infact she just turned 2.
I'm glad I chose to have her than an abortion, I don't regret this experience for the world! Someone I knew before I went into foster care asked "Why not get an abortion, you will be able to go to college, get hooked up with a guy and party"
I laughed. I knew if I was "grown up" enough at the age of 16 to have sex and get pregnant then I was grown up enough to make better choices and be responcible for my actions. I placed when i was 17.
Today, I am married (I met my husband a few months after I placed) and I have a 9 month old son. We live only an hour from the adoptive couple and go to family parties. I currently am enrolled and start college soon, I met the guy of my dreams, and I don't care for partying unless its with the adoptive family, so I guess I can do everything still as if I didn't have my daughter.
I kept a journal and wrote my thoughts, prayers, personal opinions on things to my daughter while I was pregnant, and sometime after. I'm not sure if I want to give it to her when she's old enough.
She just turned 2 so in a few years she will be able to undersand I'm a birthmom but not her mom (if that makes sense? I'm sure you know what I'm saying)
I think its great to have this connection with the adoptive couple, they say they got two kids out of one situation
I thought about how will I explain that I had gotten married a year later and had another baby and why I didn't keep her, but I'm not worried about it now becase my relationship with the adoptive couple, and my daughter are as strong as ever. She will be shocked when she's older I'm sure, but hopefully she has a good enough life that she will appreciate it and be understanding of why I placed her.
Deniserod79 is right, being a birth mother is the hardest job
doesn't matter if you place or keep, the emotional roller coaster ride is there and we're on it
I'm glad to have found this site and to be able to talk to women (and men) who have gone through it.
I call the birth father sometimes and tell him how Christian is, and my husband understands. I also attend a birth mom support group at LDS Family Services on Thursdays which helps even after 2 years of placement