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If the other families had other children in the home, that could be a big reason for the disruptions. Which is not to minimize them, but I know that at least for me, the biggest part of our difficulties is seeing the effect of our girl's behavior on our other kids. There are positive sides, too, of course, but their lives, personalities, and attitudes are definitely on a different course and far more negative in some aspects and sometimes that is really heart breaking.
OTOH, there are positive sides. I do feel, however, that many older children, particularly if they were the first/only in their family of origin, would match up better in a single-child household.
FWIW, when people say "for no reason," more often than not, I think they mean that there was no obvious trigger that other people would view as a reason to act upset. Example, youngest can be very angry with middle but do nothing but gripe. But she can also just randomly, say while they are watching TV on the couch, kick her really hard or pinch her from behind. When confronted, her usual explanation is, "I was bored." Random acts of chaos and injury are kind of her specialty, something seen only once or twice outside of our home.
The fact that you lead a structured life is a huge benefit. We and others in harder situations find that the more structure there is, the better the kids do.
Yes, the child could be a disaster. But maybe she is your disaster, you know? Whatever you decide, I hope things turn out well for you and for her.
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