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I feel that it is not as cut and dried-he's in your house so you are obligated now. Yes, the committment has to be genuine and wholehearted, but if the situation is not healthy for the child in the long run it should not continue because you said you would. I see it a little like a divorce-yes this is a child not another adult-but most people enter into a marriage with 100% committment to make it work, and at times it is not possible. Parenting a traumatized kid, RAD or not, is an experience that cannot be truly understood until you are in it.
I think it would be wrong to ignore the fear/doubt or anxiety. My sense was that OP was doing a "gut check" and asking if the feelings are normal or a sign they are not right for this child. My advice is-do not assume you are wrong for this child because of ambivalent feelings. Face the feelings and see if you can find a way to grow with the experience and hope the warm feelings come. Expect the roller coaster to continue, and make sure you have the right kind of therapeutic help to support the child and your family.
Karen
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