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It sounds like you have put quite a bit of thought into this, which is good, of course. I do like the tone of your letter. Return receipt requested is a good idea as well; you might also mention that you would appreciate a response one way or the other so you can be sure he actually read it. It's always difficult when you don't get a response, and you're left wondering whether he is ignoring you or never got the letter. There's always the possibility that his wife could open the letter first (I presume she is allowed to sign for a letter addressed to him???), and that opens up other situations.
I think it's okay to mention that you would be willing to participate in DNA testing if he wished. I think a short paragraph about yourself would be nice -- your education level or achievements, your occupation, interests or hobbies, etc. You don't need to go into a lot of detail. Pictures are always good.
I agree that you shouldn't contact his children until they are adults (if he refuses contact with you, I believe you have the right to try to befriend your half-siblings when they are older and have moved away from home). As far as contacting his mother and other relatives, I am not sure -- maybe you ought to see how things go, and then start a new post on this forum asking that question...you might get more responses in the seemingly more popular Adult Adoptee section.
It's good that you are preparing yourself in case he is not receptive. It doesn't look promising that he denied paternity back then, but maybe he is more mature now. I think you have to send your letter; otherwise you will never know -- there never is a "right time" -- and you can't spend your life waiting and wondering...
When I learned the identities of my bparents, they were long deceased. I wrote my half-sis (my bmom's older daughter) who was not happy that I had surfaced. I brought back a lot of painful memories from her childhood (she and her brother hated my bdad). She did call me and told me some facts about my bmom, but she doesn't want me to contact anyone else in the family, including her brother. It annoys me to be the family secret -- my bgrandparents are long gone, but I have adult nieces and nephews that have no idea that I exist. I would love to contact them all, but I'm just hoping that my half-sis might eventually accept me. I'm playing by her rules for now.
My bdad later married and had 3 children (all adults now) -- I wouldn't want to hurt his widow, but someday I plan to write my half-siblings. My bdad was a sneaky guy, and I'm sure he never told anyone that he was already a father. I figure I have nothing to lose if I contact my paternal half-sibs.
So I wish you lots of luck -- you'll never know how he'll respond -- could be good or could be bad -- but I think you have every right to send that letter. Best of wishes!
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