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Thx for replies, Dreads are out of the question, her father has dreads and she is not at all interested in having them. She would much prefer have straight hair like all of her peers how impossible that wish is. No I have not been doing her hair for a couple of years, we used to do the sitting between the legs set up however upon entering middle school she took this and all other aspects of her personal care onto herself. I initially was uneasy but realise that building independence skills is essential. She plays multiple sports and has training almost daily therein leading her to shampoo her hair because she feels it is dirty from the work out. I am encouraging her to simply condition daily and shampoo less frequently, and since last weekend she has shown significant improvement in her efforts with her hair care. Actually when she returned from the party she was relieved that the secret was out so to speak and has been fine all week just a mothers angst and of course the ever present hope that they can appreciate themselves as they are.
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