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I detached from the relationship. As a fellow human, I still care as I would about any person. Maybe it's been easy because it's not as if she was ever really there anyway. I live 2 blocks away and she comes to my house at Thanksgiving (because I refuse to eat at hers). And sometimes she'll even visit at Christmas. All the obligatory holidays. She calls on my birthday, but if I don't put in the effort to see her, we don't really ever run in to each other. I suppose if I felt there was a valid reason for her abuse (like her own emotional issues) I could maybe tolerate it better....but it became apparent to me recently that is all just narcissism and she refuses to apologize or question her methods and prefers to blame everybody but herself.
...but I wonder if it's abnormal for me to be able to DETACH...like that's a sign of my own attachment disorder (which I'm sure I have) I don't see me as strong enough, I see me as damaged badly enough go against nature.
I was raising a child needing to do attachment stuff and still wanting like mad to avoid it myself. Any of my DH and my arguments happen because he feels like I don't trust him or rely on him....and it's true. I do approach life as if I were alone in it. Like his company is welcome, but instead of feeling involved he feels like spectator.
We hardly ever argue, but if we do, that's what it's about. He was always too "touchy feely" for me. In the beginning, he always wanted to cuddle by the fire for hours and I was horrified at the idea, I couldn't think of anything I'd rather NOT do. Like I can be close to you as long as I'm distracted by something...but just sitting and connecting with someone for more than a few minutes makes me wanna run screaming in agony.
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