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Originally Posted by sweetyourock
I still love him so much. He said at the beginning that we could only be together if I had an abortion, I went along with the idea for a while but I knew there was no way in my heart I could have ever let that happen. It's a few months too late for that now, and he's still there for me, but now I'm faced the the option of adoption.
Everyday I feel this baby kicking and moving inside of me and sometimes it makes me excited and I just can't wait for this baby to come into the world so I can hold him and play with him and raise him. I got 3D ultrasound pictures the other day and he is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and he still has 8 weeks to grow even more beautiful when I welcome him into the world.
My family has been more than supportive and is willing to help me finish school and raise the baby if that's what I choose to do. I really don't think that's possible to just give the baby up for adoption and just "forget about it" but I just get so sick of being sad about this amazing thing I have growing inside of me. But what makes me even more sad, is the idea of not being with my boyfriend. He has made it very clear that there is no way he could remain with me if I choose to raise this baby because he feels it would just be a constant reminder to him. I don't want to have to choose between my baby and the person that I love. I can't even see what a life would be like with anyone else.
He is mine, I feel him every day, I now have seen him and how gorgeous he is, and I feel like no one else in this world could ever love him the way I do. I love this baby and every time I think about giving him to someone else, I start crying uncontrollably.
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I am sorry you are so sad, this is a time of such joy. The miracle inside, should only be feeling love, peace, and contentment. Your child does feel all you feel. Sweetheart, none of us can tell you what you should or should not do. You seem to be a very intelligent young woman, whom knows exactly what it is she wants. There is nothing stopping you from achieving ALL your dreams, and goals...except you! There are so many wise women here and can give you insight, of what they feel. I am going to try not to do that, simply because you need only to re-read your very own post. At 20, we all have found the man of our dreams. There really is no other man for us..period! Pleas re-read your post, I have attempted to leave the important parts of your own words , here above my reply. Might I suggest, when you re-read your own words, that you ask a few things of yourself? Can you honestly say "THE MAN" of your dreams would rather, that you abort a baby, simply because it is not his, and you concieved..WHILE you were split up? Can you picture "THE MAN" of your dreams...just STOP loving you simply because...you LOVE YOUR BABY? Is this REALLY what a man that LOVES you looks like? Sweetheart, I ache so badly for you today! I wish I could HUG you, and show you a crystal ball. I want you to do me a favor, I know you do not know me...but if you can...please go to the journals, and read my post ...the last 2 are of one...just read them. When you are finished reading the post, go look into the mirror...that image you see, the beautiful round tummy, when you rub it ...that baby moves, it is safe happy and in love with its mommy. Look long in the mirror, then picture yourself, where I am today, after reading my journal entry....then ask yourself, can you do to your child...what I did to my twins...and live with it? I send this with my heart being heavy, and jus remembering....if you can say, that there is ONE man worth placing your child with strangers(probably wonderful) yet still strangers...then you should do as THAT man says...and relinquish your child! The woman in that journal...gave away 2! BLESSINGS..C.J.
