[RavenSong]

I'm not sure what your legal rights as a birthfather would be in this situation. But I do want to point out that the emotional damage that would be done to this child would be enormous if he or she were to be torn away from the adoptive family after two or three years. At this point in time, the adoptive parents are the only parents this child knows and loves. They have bonded into a family unit. I would implore you to think of the child's best interests first and put your own needs and desires away for right now.

One possibility you might want to explore is if the adoptive parents are willing to open the adoption a bit. If they already have an open adoption (OA) with the birthmom, they very well might be willing to open it up with you, too. If this isn't possible, you might be able to persuade them to send you annual updates and photographs until the child is 18 years of age. (This is called a "semi-open" adoption.)

Do you know if the adoption was handled by an agency? If so, your best bet is to contact the agency and go from there. I know that when my son's adoption was semi-opened up (he was a teenager by then), his birthfather was also provided updates and photos. It's worth a shot.

Please think this through carefully. I highly doubt that you would be able to obtain custody of this child after so long of a time period...it is practically unheard of, as far as I know. If you do pursue legal recourse and fail, I doubt that the parents would be willing to provide you with any updates at all.