[hunny0404]

As I'm reading this thread I'm getting angrier. When I relinquished in 1979, I asked for the file to be sealed on my side but open on the adoptive side. I wanted my son's aparents to feel secure that I wouldn't someday try to find him (I didn't; he found me) but I wanted my son to be able to find me if he ever felt the need. I asked for this arrangement and was promised it. I feel completely betrayed that my own attorney didn't tell me this was impossible in the state of NY. My son spent many frustrating and painful years searching, while I thought he didn't want to find me because I didn't know he COULDN'T. When I was found, the third party who located me said he'd been wanting to find me for such a long time, but the record had been sealed on his side. At the time (2 1/2 years ago) I thought this must have been an administrative mistake. I had no idea it was the law. I thought I was well-represented at the time. I was so very ignorant and foolish to trust. It feels like just one more failure on my part; I didn't raise my son and I didn't protect his rights in his adoption.

The relinquishment/adoption process is so full of lies....