Alright so, right now, this weekend, we've got the little girl for a sleepover with my daughter. First time my little girl has ever had someone over like this
We have actually never had her over before, so this is a good chance to get a little glimpse into what she is like when not in the environment we are used to.
I had a lot of warnings about her prior to this. They might scare some people off, but it didn't phase me one bit. But it did prepare me for things to expect and think about what kind of guidance/correction/discipline she might need, so that's good.
I already know she has some attachment issues. i saw that when I went to her house and she would not listen to her mom, ignored her, and would not give her hugs and kisses. She doesn't have RAD, however, so that's good. I have observed she is excitable, somewhat impulsive, very active, very creative, has selective obedience/disobedience issues (I noticed that getting nipped in the bud once I had to discipline her and my daughter with time out, though...she's been fine since), she has "decent" politeness and respectfulness.
My feeling so far is that she simply needs the appropriate avenues and guidances to direct what others call her "problems". These are not "problems". All in all, she is a good kid who I see has LOTS of awesome potential if she could only get in the right environments: spiritually (because in her mother's faith they don't have to have guilt, therefore it's difficult to feel bad for wrong you have done), mentally (as she is gifted and needs to be challenged), physically (as she is very active but the mom can't move around or hardly go anywhere), and emotionally (adoption issues over the past few years).
This, so far, is my assessment. The execution and practical application of course will be more difficult, but those are the things we just have to remember and focus on. It's too bad her relatives don't have the patience or love for her.
I certainly do.