[krisrose]

I'm in the process of adopting a 12-year-old girl who has lived with me for the past 9 months. She has called me by my first name ever since she moved in. Tonight, in our family counseling session, her therapist confronted her with not calling me mom. She said "I can never call her mom." and "I can't call anyone who is not my birthmom my mom." She also said she views me as her "guardian."

I know you're not supposed to force the issue and I never have. We even had a conversation about it when she first moved in and I said she can call me mom when and if she gets comfortable with it or call me by my first name. But hearing her say "never" and that she thinks of me as her "guardian" was very painful. I want her to think of us as a family and I'm afraid that might never happen. For those of you who have adopted older kids, what has been your experience with the name calling?