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Many years ago, we found adoption.com when we adopted our youngest son. It was a great source of information and support. As the years passed, I found myself away from the site. Today, I showed up looking for answers to similar questions...
Our b-mother wanted an open adoption and I agreed. That first year, we even flew her across country so she could see where we lived and that all was okay. After that, she lost touch. We had no way to reach her at all. Meanwhile, the bfather kept in touch. It broke my son's heart - HE wanted her to know how cute he was!
Anyway, I was in your shoes way back then. I chose to let it be and not push the issue. It worked out for the best looking back.
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