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I don't know that there are more bullies these days but I do feel they are more empowered. Back in the day, you could defend yourself more and fight them if need be. You could have the "I'll see you after school pal" and not get suspended. You also didn't fear the weapons as much as we do now. One other aspect that has changed imo, is the parental and community involvement. One can't tell a kid not their own "Hey knock it off!" at the park without the fear of being sued, and then let's face it...we have a lot more uninvolved parents than before. We also have more parents who do not discipline because omg...that will hurt their child's feelings. (Obviously there ARE good parents out there, so don't get me wrong)
Unfortunately, one of the byproducts of our "new age" bullying prevention/education programs being taught in school is that the victim is often MORE powerless than ever. If you follow the steps they tell you to, and there's a lot of them, and nothing is resolved, all that is created is even more attention on your child and the bully throws that in their face. "Ha! I TOLD you not to tell and see...NOTHING HAPPENED!" and on it goes. If you do end up physically doing something about it, you will likely end up suspended due to the "no fighting" policy that so many schools have. So kids learn it's just not worth it, see that the bullies have all the power after all, and they stop reporting it.
This at least is my experience having dealt with this for the last 8 months with my 6th grader. Not until we involved the police and filed a report did the kid stop his antics. The school touts itself with a "Zero Tolerance" policy and they do all the classes etc., but it's all talk talk talk. When it comes down to action...they shut up all the sudden, claiming "confidentiality" and nothing gets done. Maybe we just have a bad school, but I know from talking to many others about the issue, that our experience was not unique.
My suggestion is nip it in the bud as soon as possible. With the neighbor situation, I would not allow my kids to play with that family at all. If the boy comes onto your property, film him and make sure he knows it. Tell him you'll contact the police if he trespasses again. Extreme? Possibly, but if his parents are not doing anything about it then the law is your next step. If he causes issues on the bus, call the bus dispatch and report it. Do they have cameras on the bus?
Goddess - I think karate is a good overall sport and if there's an interest in it, it's great. But if it's only for self defense, it's not really going to be all that effective because #1, most karate instructors drill it into their student's heads that they cannot use karate on other kids, and #2, it'll be months before she has any real skills to use for defense. What will she do in the meantime?
Your sister needs to document in WRITING every incident and be as detailed as possible. Just the facts, no emotions. Instead of saying her child is being bullied, she should say "harassed". Regardless of the federal mandate that requires schools to have preventional programs, steps, mission statements etc. not very many states actually have specific laws against bullying. Most DO have laws against harassment & discrimination though. (Violence usually means weapons and other unsafe methods which bullying does not necessarily fall into the same category as)
If she doesn't want to go the school route and it's more about teaching her dd how to handle situations, I highly recommend a "Peer Relations' class. Often therapists will have little support groups with kids facing the same issues and give them real life tools to resolving conflicts. This is more for the child's self esteem, meeting other kids so they know they aren't alone, empowering themselves etc. Not necessarily going to solve a specific bully issue, which will likely need parental & school involvement if it doesn't stop.
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