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Polly,

Take the time to fully educate yourself on whatever decision you feel is best.

I have only this advice to offer: GET COUNSELING

Not just before, but after you have made your decision. I recently placed a child - so far, I have no regrets, I do not second-guess my decision, and I am moving forward with my life.

BUT

I was 1,000,000% sure that I entered into an adoptive situation that met MY requirements. I did not choose a family that I 'hoped' would respect my needs, I did not go into a situation that I 'hoped' would work out. I did make sure that I had enough time to really think this whole thing out.

Placing a child, it stays with you forever - just as if you were raising that child.

Make sure that you are 100% ready to deal with that type of situation & with the complications that it can entail. If you have even an inkling of doubt, wait it out, rethink it again.

We are not living in the closed era now, you can have much more of a say than those poor mothers ever dreamed of. It hurts me to my soul to know the pain they suffered.

I currently love my adoptive situation - but, it is not for everyone.

Take your time. Make the decision, question that decision, then question it again.

While placing a child will never be 'a thing of the past' in your life (it will ALWAYS be in your mind), you can make that decision & live your life without regrets.

I wish you all the best, and I wish you peace with your decision, whatever it may be.