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I have a neighbor who in her 40's, is rather irresponsible and her judgment seems "off". She is always late on her rent and gets into some really strange/dangerous situations.
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If she is as unstable as you describe (and honestly, even if she were perfectly stable, but moreso because she isn't), I would not want to have some sort of loose arrangement with her around taking responsibility for her child. What if she can never care for this child? Or care for him/her in a way that is adequate?? It just sets you up for being taken advantage of, I think, and I don't see that it is good in the long run for this baby. It can also easily set up an enabling type of situation where as long as she has you to fall back on, she doesn't need to take responsibility.
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Anyhow, she realizes that she can't take care of a baby right now and was talking to my mom about just giving the baby to someone.
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What were her reasons why she couldn't take care of the baby? Were they temporary reasons, or more long term issues? If temporary, like financial, I would point her to services that could help her. Certainly you could offer to babysit or nanny for her, or help her get a nursery set up, etc., that is one thing, but taking full responsibility for the child, I would be very leary of.
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Does this sound too complicated to work? Too dumb to even think about?
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The fact you are asking these questions shows you are having second thoughts about this. With good reason, I think. What was this woman's response when you said you would take care of her baby until she could? What does that even mean to her and to you?? Without any definite boundaries and no legal protection, I would be very concerned about such an arrangement.
This woman needs options counseling. Unbiased options cousneling. And she needs to make up her own mind about what to do from there. as this is not your decision to make for her. I could throw out my opinion and say that making an adoption plan was best for me and my child, but that is just my feeling based on my circumstances and would not be helpful to her. In fact, even on this board, there are many times I feel adoption would be the best choice for certain emoms, but I wouldn't tell an emom that, because it would be my bias coming through. As strongly as you feel about being against adoption, it may very well be the best thing. Or not. But if your neighbor is not presented with all her options and knows what is available to her, how can she make a truly informed decision? I think it may be more helpful to her if you gave her info on services in your area that help single moms, reputable adoption agencies, etc. and tell her if she decides to parent her child, you will be available to help in terms of babysitting and such.