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I second the comment about how children can become UNBELIEVABLY strong when they rage. All that anger and hate comes out and they can do things you never would have believed possible.
My first introduction to the world of angry children came when I was about 15. I babysat for a family where the 3rd grader, age 8, an average-sized kid, had "anger issues". But I knew the family from church and thought he seemed normal enough.
The two worst incidents were:
1 - this child picking up his 10 year old brother and hurling him across the room, and
2 - this child stealing a butcher knife, chasing his brother with it, and burying the blade of the knife an inch into a solid wood door. It took me a good 3-4 minutes to work the knife back out, but he buried it in one stroke.
There were other incidents, but those were the two worst. And the rage lasted only maybe 10 minutes. I would have had to call the police to handle him if it had lasted any longer.
Even today, I would have next to no idea how to handle a child like that. There was no "real" trigger. He and his brother had been bickering about what to play that evening. That's supposed to be normal. That's not "supposed" to trigger something as bad as that rage. But it did. Even with all the education and preparedness in the world, how does someone really prevent that - forever?
This child is going to require some very strong parents - emotionally and possibly physically. You're doing well to get all the information you can before making a decision. It's possible her brand of raging is one that you can handle. But it's possible it isn't. So more information is definately in order.
Keep in mind she has in the past behaved well for 6 months at a time, so I'd make it clear to everyone that even if you accept her into your family, that you refuse to finalize an adoption until you have experienced one of these rages. It's unlikely they've simply gone away, so you'll see one eventually. Then you'll KNOW, one way or the other, if you can be the right family for this child for every day for the rest of her life.
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