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I don't think anyone here expects to adopt kids that are "perfect". Though we would prefer to adopt kids who don't abuse the kids already in our homes. We have a responsibility as parents to protect the kids already in our homes. I did take in a relative who was much older than my children, but I already knew here and knew that she would not hurt them. Having been abused myself, I would never, ever, ever put another child in a position of risk. I have tried to adopt through social services in two different states, both of whom claimed to be short on adoptive and foster parents. The first one told me they would not even talk to me unless I was willing to adopt a child over the age of 7. Well, my homestudy said I could not adopt a child older than my oldest bio who was then only 5. I was willing to take in special needs kids, I was willing to take any color, I was willing to take siblings. But no, they would not even talk to me. Later I tried in another state. I could not get a single call returned. All I got were form letters telling me to come to an informational meeting that was scheduled on a day I could not come. The meeting was an hour away and lasted four hours. They told me there would be another one in several months, but would not even answer basic questions or anything else. Again, I was willing to take sibling groups, this time older children than before, though still not teens becuase my daughter was still fairly young. I was willing to take special needs and any color. I already had a homestudy and background checks and everything, but they could not even answer a question and they would not return phone calls. When my kids are older I will probably try again. But there is no way I would put my younger ones at risk. Sadly I don't have faith in the system. I know too many people who have been lied to by the system.
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