[lucyjoy]

So because kids need to be adopted we should lie to parents who ask opinions and tell them it's all roses and ignore the real red flags? Didn't these kids land in foster care because of abuse and neglect but we should turn our backs and ignore the potential for abuse of another child to get kids into homes?

I am very pro adoption and I'm pro older child adoption. I have worked with LOTS of parents disrupting placements because of what they didn't know. It doesn't help the child and leaves a destroyed family left to pick up the pieces.

I am for INFORMED, EDUCATED adoption and I think social workers need to look at entire situations and not just the numbers of kids that need to be placed.

I live in a state where parents got sick of kids jumping around and took real action to form parent support, parent education that continues after placement, support groups for kids/teens-those adopted and those living with distrubed siblings. They expanded into homestudies and work hard to keep siblings together from the time they leave their bhomes until they go back home or find new homes with as little movement as possible. They fight in state government to keep resources for kids.

I WANT kids to have families. But the fact is, in order for some of these kids to be successful in families, the families need training-more then they are getting in the classes. My kids were masters at blowing through families-and they left damage behind.

I think it's negligent for social workers to place kids directly from group homes into homes without theraputic training, especially if there are younger children there. I think not taking the other kids in the home into account is wrong.

I'm sorry you don't care for my opinion. Do I feel sad for this child? Yes. But do I think putting the 6 year old at risk is okay? NO.

If she had no other kids, I'd have given differnent advice and resources to help parent a child with the issues this one may have.

Her original question indicated her own doubts about the safety of this placement. Should I have lied to get this child off the statistic list? I'm not wired that way.

More needs to be done to recruit and train families to take older kids-I agree.